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My dick is gone
I went to sleep
Woke up
And its gone
what could of happened last night
To make my dick disappear
I ponder as I look at thay empty space
One of my friends had already woke up
I ask "Oh where has my dick gone?"
He replies "The dick fairy took it away"
Suddenly I remember
What happened

...There was no dick to begin with
:iconcrypticconversation:

My Dick Is Gone by CrypticConversation

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/ / / ©2017 CrypticConversation
A story about accepting that you dont have a dick
Add a Comment:
 
:iconprofessional-toaster:
professional-toaster Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2017  Student General Artist
I CAN'T
Reply
:iconmilesaph:
milesaph Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
relatable
Reply
:iconmeadowspirit:
MeadowSpirit Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2017
If this is a parody of modern poetry then it's great!

If it's meant to be taken seriously then it's beyond terrible.
Reply
:iconcrypticconversation:
CrypticConversation Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's as serious as my guide on how to create a child farm.
Reply
:iconjonneego:
jonneego Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2017
Not art......not literature........what the **** is it?
Reply
:iconcrypticconversation:
CrypticConversation Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Dont ask me. I created it but dont ask me
Reply
:iconanilkumardash:
anilkumardash Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2017  Hobbyist Interface Designer
WTF!!
Reply
:iconspaghetti-dinner:
spaghetti-dinner Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Rip
Reply
:iconyokonii:
Yokonii Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm d y i n g
Reply
:iconviktoriyarova:
viktoriyarova Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
This is the epitome of what DA is at the moment lol




fun read i guess 
Reply
:iconmenyesg:
menyesg Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2017
As a non-native English speaker it really irritates me when I see or hear "could of" instead of "could 've".
It might be because I'm a grammar nazi, I'm not sure. But really, you only need to learn one language's grammar... how hard could it be?
Reply
:iconcrypticconversation:
CrypticConversation Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh. Whoops. I kinda spell based off what I hear so that's why that happened. 
Reply
:iconxx-strangeness-xx:
xX-Strangeness-Xx Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
well
Reply
:icontheartfrog:
TheArtFrog Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2017  Student General Artist
I find it hilarious that this is in the most Popular this Week. XD
Reply
:iconkasterborous:
Kasterborous Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2017
*could HAVE happened
Reply
:iconmikapflower101:
mikapflower101 Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2017  Student General Artist
:')
TOP 10 ANIME DEATH SCENES
Reply
:iconphoenixemi:
PhoenixEmi Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2017
Had a laugh! I love this so much!
Reply
:iconlauren654:
lauren654 Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2017  Student General Artist
That was beautiful
Reply
:iconthetrasman3000:
TheTrasMan3000 Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2017
Top 10 Saddest Moments in Anime
Reply
:iconahmadhamdy:
AhmadHamdy Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
what did I just read
Reply
:iconnerdy-girlplaysgames:
Nerdy-GirlPlaysGames Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Made me cry XD
Reply
:iconpetra97:
Petra97 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017
Beautiful <3
Reply
:icontobiornott0be:
TobiOrNotT0be Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
.·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.
Reply
:iconhannibus42:
hannibus42 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017  Student Writer
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ FLIP THAT TABLE.

┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(°□°ヽ) FLIP THIS TABLE.

┻━┻ ︵ \(`0`)// ︵ ┻━┻ FLIP ALL THE TABLES

ಠ_ಠ Child. . .

ಠ_ಠ Put.

ಠ__ಠ The tables.

ಠ___ಠ Back.

(╮°-°)╮┳━┳

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ NEVER

(•_•)
<)   )╯because I'm
 /    \

⊂_ヽ
  \\ _
   \( •_•) F
    < ⌒ヽ A
   /   へ\ B
   /  / \\ U
   レ ノ   ヽ_つ L
  / /                   O
  / /|                   U
 ( (ヽ               S
 | |    \__
 | 丿 \ ⌒)
 | |  ) /
`ノ )    Lノ
(_/.
Reply
:iconhannibus42:
hannibus42 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017  Student Writer
I work hard on multi-part stories and have spent over a year planning a complex fictional universe....

And this is what ends up on the front page of DA.
Reply
:iconkenliano:
Kenliano Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
I definitely know the feeling.... :/
Reply
:iconlight-dusk:
Light-Dusk Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017
If you're planning a complex fictional universe, why are you putting it on dA instead of publishing it?
Reply
:iconhannibus42:
hannibus42 Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2017  Student Writer
Maybe one day I'll be able to do that. But I doubt it. Until then, DA provides a place where I can write down the stories that happen in my head, and post them where they can be read (and hopefully enjoyed) by any who come across them.
Reply
:iconkenliano:
Kenliano Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
You didn't ask for my opinion, but posting your original works on a medium such as DA limits your options for them being published in the future. Publishers sometimes check for that, and it's even a criterion for some publishers that the piece never have been published on online. (Not to mention people can steal your ideas...) 
Reply
:iconhannibus42:
hannibus42 Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2017  Student Writer
If my stories never get properly published, then that's okay really. I still enjoyed writing them, and entertaining whoever read them. And as long they don't steal the actual stories, then using an idea i expressed doesn't really bother me too much.

Or so I say anyway. Wouldn't be too suprized if I pulled a 180 should that actually happen, lol
Reply
:iconkenliano:
Kenliano Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Hehe. I understand. I love writing, too. My dream, though, is to be published one day, so, when I got serious about it, I took all of my original stuff from DA and other online platforms like Fictionpress. I even took down a fanfic I wrote once because I loved a specific idea I wrote in it, and didn't want it to be stolen by someone else... I'm gonna use it in a future original story!

I should check out your stories! Any in particular you want to point me to?
Reply
:iconhannibus42:
hannibus42 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2017  Student Writer
Well, I just published the first part of new series i had been working on for about a year... so it'd be nice to hear your thoughts on it down in the comment section. It's called "Stories About Magic"
Reply
:iconkenliano:
Kenliano Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Okay, I'll check it out!
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconcrypticconversation:
CrypticConversation Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yeah its seriously unfair. I domt believe this thing should be on the front page of da, and i created the abomination
Reply
:iconhannibus42:
hannibus42 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017  Student Writer
Welp, I'll take that as consolation at least.... now if you'd excuse me, I have some blowing things up in a video game to quell my rage to do.
Reply
:iconsnowy1213:
snowy1213 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017  Hobbyist Photographer
Great words. What kind of dick? A mans dick or a dog named dick or Dick's sporting goods?
Reply
:iconcrypticconversation:
CrypticConversation Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Its open to interpretation
Reply
:iconsnowy1213:
snowy1213 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017  Hobbyist Photographer
Oh, do u like roleplay
Reply
:iconcrypticconversation:
CrypticConversation Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yeah kinda
Reply
:iconsnowy1213:
snowy1213 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017  Hobbyist Photographer
Check out my profile
Reply
:iconkawaiiorchdork55:
kawaiiorchdork55 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017
OH SHIT THUS IS DEEP
Reply
:iconscruffyfur:
ScruffyFur Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
What did happen, that is the question!
Reply
:iconmaelstromex:
MaelstromEX Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Alright, so if I am to wake up without a dick, i'll blame you for it - cause you now made me believe there is a dick fairy that takes the D literaly ._.
Reply
:iconcrypticconversation:
CrypticConversation Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Okay fair enough
Reply
:iconmaelstromex:
MaelstromEX Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Please don't let her take it ;_;
Reply
:iconsilthril:
Silthril Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
what if it's a guy tho
Reply
:iconmaelstromex:
MaelstromEX Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Second verse, same as the first, no matter if guy, girl or attack helicopter, my dick shall not be taken away from me, losing it would be the worst XD
Reply
:iconsilthril:
Silthril Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
XD HIDE YOUR DICKS PEOPLE
Reply
:iconmaelstromex:
MaelstromEX Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
At it, I'll just find some hole to hide it in, there it should be safe xD
Reply
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Submitted on
February 19
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